I think I mentioned previously what a massive Co-Sleeping judger I used to be. My first two little chimps had amazing bedtime routines and were both in their own cots/own rooms within the first six months and I’m pretty sure they slept through the night too. Bedtime and sleep routines were very much about what was convenient for me, those babies needed to get to bed so me and my then husband would have our evenings. Thats what people said at the time, the importance of routines and having your evenings. I’d not even heard of Co-Sleeping then, babies go in cots, that was all there was to it. Thats all I knew.
I knew I was going to breastfeed Clark and a client of mine who I was seeing when I was pregnant told me about her Co-Sleeping crib. She explained how in the night when baby wanted a feed she’d just scooch him over then scooch him back again and it hardly disturbed her at all. I’m all for sleep, bloody love sleep, so anything that was gonna protect mine was alright by me. So we rented a bednest from the NCT.
All good plans eh…
So Clark was born and our first night together was a living hell. Not because of Clark solely but because six newborns in one ward plus nurses coming and checking you every hour means no sleep. OH MY GOD WHEN WILL I SLEEP? No sleep. On a plus you get to coo and stare over this tiny little beautiful creature you popped out of your vagina. MIRACLES. Small plus though, I was fucking knackered.
Lovely J totally stepped up though and sorted me out with my own room the next day, it was like bliss. It WAS bliss. Baby C was feeding every hour and a half through the night and having to sit up and lean over the plastic crib thing then pick him up then sit up in bed and feed him was not fun. I quickly realised I could stick the bars up on the bed, pad them out and have him sleep in with me. It was wonderful I’d curl myself around him and he’d latch on with me still laying down. I also assured the nurses I’d totally got this, I’m a Mum of three, all I actually want tonight is sleep, so they kindly left me to it. The next morning I practically bounded out of bed, I was like a spring lamb a slightly wobbly, chubby, greasy spring lamb but a lamb none the less.
When we got home we had all good intentions for putting Clark in his bednest, Clark however had absolutely no plans to go in it at all. Now yes we could have persisted we could have gently trained him to use his crib but he wanted to sleep next to me. What a brat huh?! Nine months safely snuggled in the warmth of my womb and he’s got the bloody cheek to still want to sleep snuggled next to me when he’s out. Arse hole.
That first night back at home I laid him about a foot away from me and he somehow managed to manoeuvre himself so he was pushed right up against my boobs. It was absolutely adorable. I suddenly didn’t understand how I could have ever put the other two in their own cribs, fuck their own rooms, so young. With Clark laying next to me I was so aware of him, if something had been up I would have known. It just felt like the most normal natural thing to do. I am woman hear me ROAR.
I think I stated in a previous post about how cross and judgemental people get about Co-sleeping, they’ll scream how dangerous it is, they’ll tell you you’re making a rod for your own back by not putting them in their own cot Blah Blah Blah etc etc. I’m not going to fight the corner for Co-sleeping it HAS to be an individual choice, believe me I want to go hell for leather about the benefits because there is fucking tons but I wont, because no one likes a preacher and hey you know where to find me if you wanna ask questions and HELLO Google. Really do, research research research! Start with Dr Sears he’s lovely. After our first night I googled and googled, I read good and bad articles about Co-Sleeping, the people it worked for and the people it didn’t, I read how to do it safely (I’m no longer allowed to snort a ton of coke before bed followed by a pint of gin) and made an informed decision that it was right for us. It might not be for you though and that’s totally cool.
As I said before do your research, if I’d known about the benefits of Co-Sleeping with the other boys I would have done it. Research your options then you can make an informed choice.
It still might not work for you. We’re lucky so far that Clark’s a quiet sleeper and he doesn’t disturb us or us him. Mainly it works for us because I’m lazy though. I salute you Mums who get out of bed in the middle of the night to feed. I think I’d have had a breakdown if I had to do that for Mr I wanna snack at Ninas 24hr diner ALL NIGHT LONG.
It can be an absolute pain, sometimes I’m so envious of babies who are in a routine and go to sleep, like at five months old one of us still has to be upstairs with him at night. So right now J’s up there while I’m writing this. You can’t just put him down to bed and go Nanight Clarky, he freaks the fuck out. Again yes we could sleep train him but for the love of god he’s a baby! He needs us, I seriously don’t take any beef with that. I get his jammas on, read him a story and then I lay next to him, he immediately rolls onto his side and snuggles in for a feed and it really is the best thing ever. I then try and ninja my way out of there so I can sneak downstairs and sometimes I can but mainly he wakes up and says NO MOTHER YOU WILL NOT LEAVE THIS ROOM GET BACK HERE. So I’ll stay upstairs with him and hold his hand and kiss his head and just breathe him in because this won’t go on forever and I’ll be so fucking sad when it stops.
Eight hours sleep again though Nina? Yeah it’ll definitely ease the sting.
As for me and J having our evenings together, most of the time we do, we might both go upstairs, J playing games and me looking through instagram (exactly like we used to do before we had Clark) Shock horror sometimes we still bring him downstairs to sleep on one of us if we end up watching a film. It works. Whatever. Will it always work? Maybe not. To be honest we’re kind of just going with it, not really sure what the next move is. Right now we’re happy and Clarks happy and my lazy arse gets to stay in bed all night.
Plus we get to wake up to this every day and well that’s just bloody brilliant.